To clean, or not to clean.

Tonight I had good intentions of cleaning the whole house. Pretty unrealistic really, considering it’s 11:45pm and all I’ve done is laundry and play on facebook (oh, I did have a snack too). Lately I’ve just been feeling so unmotivated in the evenings after my hubby leaves for work. I used to have such energy and a desire to do all the things once he left the house – the only real “free” time I have and when I’m alone (sort of). Even though both kids are asleep upstairs, it still feels like I have a small ounce of freedom to do (almost) anything I like. And what do I do, nothing productive.

Hubby and I have talked about the fact that I need to get more sleep but it’s just so hard for me to do. I’m exhausted after being with the kids all day but after they’re in bed, I want to spend what little time I have with him before he leaves for work (even if it’s only for an hour, sometimes less). Thus the “things” I want/need to do get pushed aside until he heads out the door (especially lately). And I really need that quiet time. Even if it’s just for sitting around and scrolling through facebook on my phone. Just the simple fact that I have no one to answer to is peaceful (until of course one of the little munchkins stirs in their sleep).

I don’t like to clean and distract myself too much during the day when I’m with the kids. Obviously I’ll sweep and tidy up the dishes after we eat but recently I’ve really been trying to just leave housework until hubby wakes up or until after the kids are asleep BUT it’s SO HARD for me to do that. I don’t like the dishes piling up, or toys strewn alllll over the house, or dirt that needs to be swept up just chilling on the floor like hey girl, I know you see me here, but it’s cool if you leave me here to chill until later. I’ll just get my awesome dirt buddies to come join me until you’re ready to sweep us up. URGH.

I’ll be honest, sometimes when the baby is down for her nap I’ll put a movie on the TV or give my son the iPad so that I can get a few things done before it looks any worse. I realize it’s not that big of a deal to some people but it bothers me. Even if we aren’t expecting any company, having it clean just makes me feel better, happier. And for some reason all of my motivation is raring to go during the day, the worst time for me to think about cleaning because, kids.

Gah. Tomorrow is another day.