Big thoughts.

Tonight has been full of emotions and thoughts. Big thoughts, big emotions. A dear friend of mine is currently away, on the road to recovery. Recovery from alcoholism. My mind and heart can’t stop thinking about him and how I wish I could be there, in person, letting him know that we’re all rooting for him; cheering him on. I’ve been keeping up with his blog, following along on his journey to recovery, self love and peace.

“Believe in yourself because I do. It will be hard, it will break you down
but it will build you back up to become YOU again. You’ve got this!”

There are few friends in my life that I feel such a connection with. The older I get, the harder it seems to make that close connection so, when someone comes along (over 15 years ago now) who seems to just click, you can’t let them go. Even when they are struggling and you don’t know the reason until they are already on their recovery path ~ and that’s ok. You support true friends; the ones who, as days, months and years pass, you spend less time with but you know that when you’re together again it will all be the same. As if nothing has changed. Although I don’t know the struggle of alcoholism, I do know what it’s like to feel isolated, alone and faking happiness. It was a very long time ago now and I’ve come back from that black hole into a place of love and true happiness.

I wish I could tell him that no one blames him for whatever wrongs he thinks he may have done. Recovery is the road on which he must travel and we are all here on the sidelines, his biggest supporters. I well up with tears when I think of how proud I am that he’s taken this step, to admit there is a problem and then taking action, doing something. I think about how our first visit/conversation will be when we reconnect and how there will be oh so many tears and laughter and hugs, big hugs. Sigh.

One of the best feelings in the world is when you hug someone you care about
and they hug you back even tighter.

Hello again.

Well, here goes.

I was inspired to start blogging again after talking (well, texting, who am I kidding) with a close friend who recently started his own blog/journal about his road to recovery. He said, writing can be so therapeutic. And as I read that text I remembered why I started to blog in the first place; that exact reason! To get out my thoughts, good or bad, to help me get through the day(s) or to vent, or to randomly mumble, where no one has to hear what I’m saying unless they choose to (read it) – and maybe some of you will.

Where to begin. Life has had some big changes. The last post I wrote was in fall 2015, only a few short weeks before I fell pregnant with our sweet baby girl. Since then, my sister got married, I met my niece for the first time (she just turned 9 years old – that’s another post for another day), we moved to a new city (well, where I grew up anyway) and we added another little one to our family.

You could say a lot has happened since I’ve been here; my mind has been racing with so many different thoughts (some good, some bad, some questionable) and I hope to start writing them all out again. To help me get through this thing called life.